Tuesday, May 31, 2005

A long-ago passion

On Sunday, we went out to visit my friend Shari at the stable where she keeps her horse. Shari and I have been talking about me coming out to visit for a long time, but it just never worked out--until Sunday.

I was one of those horse-crazy girls long ago, and visiting a barn brought back all kinds of memories--the open spaces, the cozy darkness of the barn, the smell of the horses and the sound of them chewing . . . wow.

Shari borrowed the owner's pony and gave my children rides. Here's me with Eli.

I also got a chance to ride.

Most of the other people there were . . . middle-aged women. I bet they were people like Shari, who's always loved horses and always owned one--or people like me who had once loved horses . . . but then had finally bought one.

I realized when I was there that I don't think I'd be one of those middle-aged women who finally experiences her dream of owning a horse. That passion seems to have gone from me now, though I do remember how strong it was then.

I suppose Freud would enjoy analyzing my horse love. It began at about age 10 and continued until I was mid-teens, about the time boys started noticing me. Go ahead Freud. Do your best.

I think, though, that my yearning for horses had something to do with the fact that I was small and unnoticeable (physically, anyway). On a horse, I could be large and graceful and strong. Maybe that's what attracts pre-pubescent girls to them.

TKD fills a similar place for me now. Doing TKD, I can be strong, graceful, even scary--though in actuality, I am a 5'3", 105 pound, 40-something mom. Both horsemanship and TKD teach grace and strength, they make us more than we are--both physically and spiritually.

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