I did OK on the test--broke the boards, did fine on my form, etc. So why have I felt a bit "down" all afternoon?
Today, I'm distracted and a bit worried about my parents, who are both in the hospital today--back in Cleveland.
But even when there aren't crises, I've noticed that I'm often a bit blue after tests. I'm exhausted--both physically and emotionally. And also there's something anticlimactic in coming home to laundry and cleaning and dealing with the kids after being at a Tae Kwon Do promotional exam, where I've fought off imaginary foes, sparred with my classmates, and broken boards with my bare hands.
I kind of need some time to decompress--or what is it the government calls it? Debrief? after an experience like that. But no one here is particularly interested in hearing about the tests, though Bruce usually asks.
In February, when that black belt test rolls around, maybe I should plan something celebratory post-test. A huge ordeal like that might lead to a big emotional let down--or a need for a nap.
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2 comments:
I've felt the same thing after TKD tests or after a big paper submission deadline. It feels like I put so much of my energy and self into it, and then after its all over, some part of me is *gone*. That's the best way I can describe it.
Test time, even when I'm not testing, has always been like this for me. Every new test reminds me of all my past teachers that moulded and formed me into the martial artist that I am today but none of them stayed with us. I was the least senior student in the school for two months and now I have been the 3rd most senior for almost two years...It's kind of depressing.
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