Tae Kwon Do Mom

Portaging Movie

2007-08-12T15:13:00.001-05:00

Here is a movie of me getting ready to portage a 70-pound canoe across a 50-yard path between two lakes. The two program assistants, Eric and Sarah, helped me heft it up, then I was on my own to walk with the canoe balanced on my shoulders. (It has a padded yoke.)
It was hard work but very satisfying!
Portage Movie

Last Post?

2007-05-24T13:02:00.000-05:00

Dear blog-readers:

I wanted to let you know that I am going to take a break from the Tae Kwon Do Mom blog.

I have loved keeping this blog over the past 2 1/2 years. It's been great to share my story about becoming a student of the martial arts and a black belt in Tae Kwon Do.

It's the story aspect of this blog that I've so enjoyed. Lots of people think of blogs as on-line diaries, but I've never thought of Tae Kwon Do Mom that way. It's been a story, with a focus, conflict (peaceful and wimpy middle-aged woman learns a combative sport), plot (will she get a black belt?), and, of course, really interesting characters. There's also been research (those hyper-links and quotes from books, etc.), photos, and your wonderful comments, too.

There have been some side-stories along the way, too--my children quitting TKD, the time Eli got hit by a car, my parents' deaths, and Robbie's rejoining TKD. I've loved having readers to share all that with!

But another thing a story has is a beginning, a middle, and an end.

I feel like I've come to an end with this blog. I'm not sure, but I think maybe.

Getting a black belt isn't necessarily an end for any martial artist, but it does provide some closure to the story of this blog. And my son rejoining this spring brings me back full circle (you may remember that my children started TKD before I did).

Now that I've achieved that closure, some of the necessary tension is gone from my blog's story-line. There are still moments of frustration and puzzlement for me in my training in TKD, but not enough to drive a plot. My blog is starting to feel like an on-line diary. That may (or may not) be interesting to readers, but I'm not sure I want to continue it.

I'm taking a break to think about this. Maybe I'll come back to this blog, maybe not. At any rate, it will stay posted here on blogspot.

I'm not going to quit Tae Kwon Do. I had no idea it would come to be such an important part of my life--I'll keep doing it as long as I can; maybe I'll see some of you at tournaments!

Of course I'm going to keep on writing--my usual free-lance stuff, posts on KarateForums, emails to many of you, my writing notebooks . . . and maybe once the blog is done, another big writing project will arise for me. I don't know.

Maybe I'll even make this blog into a book (or "blook" as they call it).

So thanks for being part of this TKD/writing journey. And if you want to stay in touch through email, drop me a comment and let me know your e-address!

I'll always be . . . .
Tae Kwon Do Mom.

Good things this week

2007-05-22T21:56:00.000-05:00

1. I learned how to do a jump crescent kick. It's one of Master Hughes's favorite kicks, and after working on it for a while in class Wed., I had a decent one down.

It's like a tornado kick, but you don't switch legs. Kind of like a fouette turn versus a tour jete.

2. Speaking of ballet, I got a lot of work in on my wheel kick (another spinning kick) and it's improving. My problem seems to be ballet training. As I come around, my kicking leg rotates into turned-out position, rather than staying turned in to kick. Thinking about that helps.

3. Master Hughes said it would be fine for me and Robbie to learn Bo this summer at Kojokan!

Convicted

2007-05-20T16:15:00.001-05:00

"Don't sell yourself short," Ms. Pryor said Saturday at the end of class. "Push yourself to improve, even when you think you're not good at something."

Ms. Pryor's inspirational words at the end of class convicted me, as we Methodists say. That means the words spoke to a lack I feel deeply in myself.

The past few weeks, I've been enjoying my workouts at TKD. One reason I've enjoyed them is that I haven't had to do things I don't like to do, namely: board breaking. When we practice breaking, I just sit quietly, or make sure the children get a chance to practice. My excuse: I don't have a test coming up, so I don't need to practice.

I also have been neglecting some kicks that are hard for me, namely: wheel kick. Ugh--I have such trouble with that one!

But this week, I'd been thinking that I need to get working on the parts of TKD that give me trouble.

And then Ms. Pryor had those words of wisdom to back up my hunch.

It's not really right to be a martial artist, but be unbalanced in one's practice--to just be good at forms, and not do sparring. Or to skip board breaking. Forms and sparring come easier to me than breaking, and regular kicks come easier than spinning kicks. But I need to work on it all, and not shy away from what's difficult.

This past week, I've even considered buying a rebreakable board

or tile,
just to get in some breaking practice at home (if I can find holders). Robbie will be able to use it too.

Any thoughts about this equipment?

Teaching Sparring to Kids

2007-05-18T16:26:00.000-05:00

After a good class, but a frustrating sparring session for some of the children Wednesday, I began to wonder about the best way to teach sparring to children.

Then I suddenly realized there was a forum for questions about martial arts--Karate Forums! I love this site.

This is the question I posted. You can find it and a few thoughtful comments at Karate Forums, Instructor Central. And if any of you has any ideas about teaching sparring, please let me know.

My Post

Anyone have any ideas on how best to help children learn to spar?

Last night in our "all belts" class--which has a mix of belt levels and both adults and children--we sparred. My son, who's a green belt (and has just returned to TKD after a hiatus of 2 years), said "I don't like sparring. I don't learn anything."

A girl in the changing room complained, too. "I hate sparring. I don't think I'm good at it."

I find that children don't really seem to understand sparring. They just flail away, and don't even look at the target. If they spar with other children their size, it's chaos. If they spar with adults, they're outmatched (usually, just because of size and experience).

If I spar with a child, I end up not getting a good workout. I'll spar for just a while, then I do some teaching ("Here, try this combination") Since I'm a black belt, I teach sometimes, so I'd appreciate any ideas about how to make sparring a good learning experience for all involved.

Behind the Belt

2007-05-15T16:46:00.000-05:00

Does anyone out there get Blackbelt Magazine?

I picked up a copy at the library today, and read an article that I wish I'd written! (That happens to writers sometimes.)

The article was "Behind the Belt," by Jim Morris, who's a freelance writer and martial artist (Karate), and it was in the March 2007 issue of Blackbelt Magazine. I wish I could provide you an internet link, but I can't find it on the mag's website--perhaps they don't archive all their articles.

In the article, Morris addresses questions that people often have about martial arts. Most people have odd notions. Morris says early on:

. . . when I tell my friend I'm taking karate, he mocks me. He assumes a karate stance, gets a kamikaze look in his eye and "karate chops" me, complete with a banshee yell.

:-)

Yeah.

Morris goes on to answer some questions people ask, like whether he could "take" a 280-pound ex-con who lives on his street. Morris's answer--no. "I'm not learning karate so I can beat people up." When pushed, he points out that even a thug has tender shins, eyeballs, and ears that could be attacked if necessary. Karate isn't needed for street fighting!

Another question: "Even if you're good, what are you going to do against a gun?"

First Morris points out the way the media tends to overplay the danger of violent crime in an ordinary person's life (a theme I've written about before, too). Then he says:

I took up martial arts for one reason: physical activity, but stayed for a host of reasons. People have noticed a difference in me, too. Several friends have said, "you seem different." I ask them how.

"Just more . . . relaxed. Calm."

I so enjoyed this article--it was a nice contrast to so many of the magazine's other articles--about MMA, "survival fighting," and phrases in ads like "transform any man into a walking, breathing weapon of mass destruction." (really) To its credit, the mag also has some reasonable columns and good advice about martial arts . . .

I hope you have read this article, or will read it--and I hope you enjoy! If you do, let me know what you think.

Watcher

2007-05-13T21:14:00.000-05:00

A man I didn't know was hanging out at the dojang Saturday. He wasn't one of the dads, and he wasn't a student. He must have come in sometime after class started, because at some point, I saw him watching our class from the hallway.

I was teaching (Justin had asked me to take over because he wasn't feeling well), so during a break, I went over and introduced myself.

(As the teacher, and as a black belt, did this for two reasons: to extend hospitality, and also to find out who he was--for the safety of our students and our school.)

He told me his name--Ron--and said he was just there "working out" in our weight room. "We were here a couple of weeks ago, too," he said, and I remembered seeing two men working out then, too.

As I organized the small group of students into a rousing game of noodle hockey, Ron came into the gym itself and worked out with the heavy bag--punching it, and then kicking it with some nice side kicks. He also swung some num-chuks. He was good!

After he worked out for a bit, he sat on the floor by the wall and watched. By that time, I was having the students work on combination kicking.

When class was over, we talked again.

"You're obviously a martial artist!" I said.

"I trained with Mr. Hughes back a long time ago," he told me.

"You're not doing martial arts now?"

"I've been doing some boxing," he said. "But I might get my grandson to some classes. He's six."

I gave Ron a newsletter and encouraged him to bring his grandson.

"And feel free to come in and work out with us if you want," I said.

"Maybe I will. Or I can help out anytime, if you want."

I think I understand a bit of where he's coming from. He needs to watch and see what it's like before he commits to coming back (or not coming back). He obviously used to be good at TKD--so it might be difficult to come back. Even though he knows the basics, and his muscles remember the important moves, he's probably forgotten some things. So he needs to think about it.

I remember when I started TKD. I started out as a watcher, too, watching my kids do it, when I'd always been intrigued by martial arts and part of me wanted to join in. It took a while before I let myself take the plunge! I didn't know if I wanted to make that kind of committment, or if I maybe wanted to channel my energies elsewhere.

Watching for a while helped me decide.

Indomitable Spirit

2007-05-10T15:03:00.000-05:00

"Mom. Have you decided if you're going to Tae Kwon Do tonight yet?"

Robbie's been bugging me for the past two days. I told him I wanted him to go 3x a week, but I'm not sure I'll do that, too.

Finally I decide to go. He's pleased.

Often Robbie and I are doing different things during class: I'll be up with the black belts, and Robbie will be elsewhere. So I don't always know what he's doing.

At one point, he comes up to me and says he's hurt his elbow. "I fell on it," he tells me.

"Ow," I say. I don't want to show too much sympathy. He's got to learn to suck it up.

Later, when we're sparring, I hear someone saying "Robbie, are you OK?" I look over at him. Robbie has stopped sparring, and looks back at me with a red, angry face and tears starting in his eyes. I found out later that he got . . . uh . . . kicked . . . But he continues on.

In the past, he might have gotten angry enough to yell and stomp off--yes, angry about an accident: it's always been his way of dealing with things. He gets excited--good or bad excited--and his temper gets short. Anything can tip him over the top, even an accident. But we're working on that these days. It's part of his "Jedi Training."

He's angry now, but he's not exploding; he's not giving up.

At the end of class, Master Hughes calls on students to recite the student oath. Chris can't remember it; neither can Ashton. Robbie does. He's called on at the right time. "Self-Control. Indomitable Spirit," he says.

I know those are hard for him. I'm glad he's doing better.

A New Challenge

2007-05-09T10:53:00.000-05:00

In my last blog post, I told you about writing to the Kojokan sensei about learning bo at their school. Well, I got a reply today.

He remembered me ("I remember you well, since you initially became interested in martial arts training after watching one of our shows," he said) and he encouraged me to come down to the dojo and try out a class. Bo classes are Saturday afternoons.

His suggestion is that I begin with some lessons this summer, and come when I can during the year to continue my practice. "To be truly proficient with a weapon requires regular training, becoming one with a weapon will not happen on an infrequent basis" he said. I agree.

To me this offer sounds perfect. I was thrilled that he was willing to take on a student from another school. I will let Master Hughes know about this--my guess is that he'll encourage me to try this new challenge.

Too cold and wet

2007-05-06T19:46:00.000-05:00

Despite looming clouds, we drove over to the Renaissance Faire today. The newspaper said it would be sunny and warm, and that the rain would hold off until tonight.

The newspaper was wrong! It started drizzling as soon as we got to the Faire, and didn't let up all afternoon. In fact, it poured!

We didn't want to wander out to the encampments, or do archery, so we went with Bonnie and Jacob to some of the vendors. Here are Robbie and me in one tent, hiding from the rain.

We also really enjoyed watching this glassblower. We hadn't seen him before at a Faire, and it was nice to stand by his kiln! He made some cool creations.

I was sorry not to be able to hang out with Kojokan, the samurai arts school which always has a demo team at the Faire. I did see the sensei briefly, and said hi.

I sent a message from their website to see if it would be possible for me to come down and learn bo. . . we'll see what comes of it!

Clothing makes the Person

2007-05-05T19:31:00.000-05:00

Robbie took these photos of me today in class. I wanted to get a nice "TKDmom the blackbelt" photo--maybe I'll put it on the top of my blog.

Vote for your favorite:

I like wearing my new red "black belt club" uniform. It's nice to have a new uniform, one that's still crisp. And of course, the black belt. I'm feeling its meaning more strongly every time I put it on.

In the afternoon, there were graduation festivities at the college. I went over for the Phi Beta Kappa initiation (it's an honorary society) and Baccalaureate. Here's my other "uniform" for those sorts of things.

I'm wearing my Dad's mortarboard here. I almost wore his doctoral hood (that's the colorful thing), but it's for engineering . . . my degree's in English. The colors of the hood symbolize your degree and your university. Dad's has a brown interior, while mine is "old gold." Still, maybe I'll just wear Dad's anyway next year.

It was fun when we processed into the big chapel/auditorium where they held the ceremony. The grads-to-be went first, and as we faculty came in behind them, I heard people say "oh--here come the faculty!" Everyone turned around to see us in our ceremonial robes and colorful hoods!

Something about wearing these two "uniforms" is very special to me. They certainly do symbolize two important parts of my life.

The story

2007-05-04T11:14:00.000-05:00

TaeKwonDoMom is ready to take her grades over to the registrar. She's spent the past few days grading papers--about 120 individual projects, she's figured out with the help of a calculator. Her brain is fried.

She sighs, turns off the radio in her office, and glances at her desk, covered with papers, folders, and books. She decides to ignore the mess, for now.

At the registrar's office, she says hi to the woman behind the desk. Is her name Kay? Or is it Esther? She can't remember.

"Are you done then?" the woman asks her, taking the grade sheets.

"Yes. I'm done. And ready for summer."

There's such a nice rhythm to the academic year. Though scholarship, study, reading, and writing are never-ending, classes have a definite beginning, middle, and end, just like a good old traditional novel. TaeKwonDoMom likes this aspect of her job.

After she drops off the grades, she heads to the movie rental place. She goes directly to the movie she wants and signs it out. Driving home, she turns on the "oldies" station and sings along to "Deacon Blues," a song that was popular when she was in high school.

At home, she makes herself a lunch and takes it out to the living room. She pops in the DVD and turns on the TV. She's been wanting to see this movie for a long time--even signed it out one weekend . . . and then didn't have time to watch it.

I love the end of the semester, she thinks.

Another conversation

2007-05-02T08:30:00.000-05:00

A conversation at my department's end-of-the-semester lunch:

Mary: What's that bracelet say? Black . . . ?

Jane: Black Belt.

Mary: Oh! Are you a black belt now?

Jane: Yeah, I am. I tested in February.

Mary: I didn't know that!

Jane: That's why I was so fit . . . and TIRED during February--I was training six times a week!

Four Conversations

2007-05-01T09:59:00.000-05:00

First conversation:
Jane: Good to see you, Justin! We missed you in class Saturday.

Justin: (shaking hands) I was in Des Moines with friends. Haven't gotten much sleep. Hey, who's teaching?

Jane: Now? You are! You're senior.

Justin: Oh great. . . I'm feeling grumpy. Well if I'm teaching, we're going to spar.

Second conversation:
Jane: (as we're working on some excruciating leg exercises) Doing OK?

Robbie: I don't like this.

Jane: It'll be over soon.

Robbie: I don't like Justin's workouts!

Third conversation:
Justin: I want to do a flying side kick over these pads. (He gestures to the long gymnastics pads folded up along the side of the dojang.)

Jane: Longways? You're going to have to work up to that. Robbie's been practicing his flying side kicks.

Robbie: I can jump over five of the blue kicking pads!

Fourth conversation:
Jane: (on the way home) So what did you think of noodle hockey?

Robbie: It was OK. I just played defender the whole time.

Jane: That game doesn't have positions! You just chase the ball like a kitty and do lots of body checks. That's what makes it fun!

Mom Teaching

2007-04-26T21:36:00.000-05:00

Since Robbie started back to TKD, several people have given me well-intentioned warnings about trying to be my son's teacher. It's not good to teach your own child, your child will try to resist your teaching, let others do it, that kind of thing.

I certainly am very glad that I don't have to do all the teaching. It's great for Robbie to get instruction from some of the best instructors I know--Master Hughes and Ms. Pryor. And I'm glad he'll be around our large corps of black belts, all of whom know him at least a little, and want him to do well.

All those people are going to be such great mentors for Robbie. All of us, but especially young people, need to be around people who care for us, and want us to grow and learn--people who'll help us to do that.

But I've also been teaching Robbie a bit. And--this may be surprising--he takes my instruction very well.

People who know Robbie might find this surprising. He's very strong-willed and he's got this high-energy (ADHD?) thing going on, too.

But in the past few years, I've noticed that he really listens to me and is willing to let me teach him in many situations.

I'm the one who has helped him with music since the summer he took keyboard lessons (we didn't yet have a piano). When I asked him to practice, he usually did. And he worked with me on some simple teacher/student duets, going over tricky spots at my suggestions. Same with his trumpet. I'm the one who gets him to practice, and I helped him rehearse for his contest piece. Parts of it were tricky, and required me to have him stop and play it over several times. But he did well; he got a "1."

So it hasn't been a surprise to me that Robbie will work on his form and kicks with me at the dojang and even here at home. I give him praise and corrections in the way I give them to the other students. And he's fine with that.

I think it'll be OK to be the mom teaching--especially since I'm not the only one teaching.

Winners

2007-04-24T10:00:00.000-05:00

I was curious about Master Kim's tournament. A handful of our students went on Saturday, and I wanted to know how they did!

Clearly, they did well. Here are some of the winners with their trophies. Our school was given that plaque recognizing our achievements at the tournament over the years.

Despite the trophies, not everyone was pleased about the tournament.

"I heard the judging was biased," said Ms. Pryor.

"But isn't that the way with all tournaments?" I asked.

"Let's put it this way," she said. "When you go to tournaments, why do you go?"

Hmm, cool question. "Well, I like training for tournaments, and getting my form to be the best it can be, and I like performing and showing everyone what I can do, and I like being there with you guys, and sparring with new opponents . . "

"But when you go, you go to win, don't you?" Ms. Pryor asked."

"Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so." I felt kind of sheepish, like I'd answered the wrong way. "I did like winning firsts."

Later I realized that we were viewing TKD in two different ways: TKD as an art vs. TKD as a sport.

I tend to see TKD as an art. I've never trained in any sport, but I've trained in music and dance. So I see TKD as like those things: you train so you're ready for a kind of performance. Some people will like it, some won't.

On the other hand, some people see TKD as a sport, usually people who've trained in sports and like sports. You train so you can be better than your opponent in a competition. In sports, there are (usually) clear rules about how to win, so if you do it really well, you'll win.

If you think of TKD as an art, a tournament can be fun, satisfying, enjoyable . . . but only if you've trained your best and you don't get performance anxiety.

If you think of TKD as the latter, a sport, you'll probably enjoy tournaments where the judging seems more objective, but only if you've trained your best, "give 110%," and you WIN!

I bet most people think of TKD as a kind of combination of these two . . .

Busman's Holiday

2007-04-21T15:45:00.000-05:00

I taught class today. It may be the first time I did the entire class by myself.

"You're a good teacher," Brittany said to me during one of the breaks.

"Thank you," I said. "Teaching's kind of my thing."

Both teachers were gone today--there's a tournament at Master Kim's. A handful of other students went to the tournament as well. And it seems like lots of people had other things going on. So I said I'd teach.

I'm used to handling a class, so that part was fine. I did write down a list of what I wanted to do--didn't want to blank out in the middle of it! The class ended up doing a bunch of ballet-inspired exercises: working in front of mirrors, for example, and foot limbering exercises. And of course we did the usual forms and combination kicking.

Everything went well, thanks to some helpful black belts: Patrick, Raiden, June, and Brittany. I got home tired and satisfied.

Robbie went with me, too! He had a good class--he really can fly on those flying side kicks!

An injury

2007-04-20T10:56:00.000-05:00

Not my injury this time, Brian's. He's hurt his back, and now I'm without my trusty workout partner.

His injury is something called a "herniated disc" and it mostly takes time to heal--several weeks, I understand. My friend Karen says she spends a weekend lying in bed on ice packs when her disc problem bothers her.

I hope I can stay motivated without Brian on the floor saying "let's go through our forms." And I seriously hope he's better very soon.

Any of you readers have any advice for Brian? I'll pass it on to him.

Ceremony

2007-04-19T08:35:00.000-05:00

Our belt ceremony was yesterday evening.

It was great to see Annette and Vince, two adult students, get their yellow belts.

We were all proud of James, Kevin, and Ashley for getting their black belts.

There are a lot of black belts at our school--here we are!

and here's our trusty photographer, Brian A.

But the best thing was that Robbie was there--as a student again!

He decided to start TKD again. About a week ago, in response to some problems he's had controlling his temper, he told me "I need Jedi training."

"Jedi training is available," I said. "Do you want to start tae kwon do again?"

"Yes," he said.

I'm glad to have him in class. Yesterday, we stuck together, and went through Chun-Ji and basic movements. He takes instruction from me pretty well.

I also look forward to my fellow black belts helping him learn--not just the moves of forms, but also those tenets of TKD: Courtesy, Integrity, Perseverence, Self-Control, and Indomitable Spirit.

As I said to someone at a TKD party the other day "it takes a village."

I'm glad to be part of this "village" where we all care for each others' children.

On my own

2007-04-16T13:09:00.000-05:00

I had a dream last night that I was at the dojang working on forms during class, and I was almost completely unable to do the forms. Each time I'd start a form, my arms and legs would just get weak, my moves would get sloppy, and I'd forget the moves.

I think that dream was a sign. I haven't worked out since Monday's class.

So I went over to work on forms by myself today.

I don't like to work out alone. It's hard to get a good workout when there's no one to push you! But Brian, my usual workout partner, had a meeting, so there I was, alone. I didn't feel completely sloppy and inept--the way I did in that dream. But I know that my strength, power, and precision are just not what they were a couple months ago. My stamina is lacking, too. By the end of the workout, I was just walking through the forms, too tired to put everything into it.

Maybe this is going to be a new challenge in my martial arts journey. People have told me before that it's harder to stay focused on improving when you're a black belt. We black belts need to help teach, and we don't have the constant pressure of tests to keep us going. My next test is in 10 months!

So here's the question: How can I stay focused and fit and continue to learn and grow as a martial artist over the next few months? I have a goal of doing all my forms once a week, but I've done poorly with this goal. I also want to work on sparring, but I can't make it to Wednesday's class for a while, and that's when we practice sparring.

How do you other black belts out there manage it?

Display

2007-04-15T12:28:00.000-05:00

I got this great belt holder for my birthday/Easter. Maybe you've seen them in catalogs, but this one was custom made for me by my brother.

I didn't know if I'd have a black belt to put on it--I figured I'd be WEARING my black belt. But I did get an extra black belt. As you can see, I tied it on the top (the "roof") of my rack.

All this is in our living room, up on top of one of the bookshelves, a kind of TKD shrine. You can see my trophies and medals there, too.

But I'm going to be getting more. I'll get a certificate soon, and I have that beautiful sword that I should display as well. All my TKD stuff could really take over the house . . .

Not testing at the Test

2007-04-14T15:28:00.000-05:00

Today was the first promotional test when I didn't test!

Black belts are expected to come to the promotional tests dressed up (i.e., not in our uniforms), and be ready to help.
Up at the front is the judges' table; about 7 black belts sit there to judge the students who are testing. I didn't expect to judge since I just got my black belt. Instead, I sat at the side, watching for ways to help.

Kevin, Ashley, and James were all testing for black belt. They were all ready.

After the test, most of the black belts went out for lunch--I couldn't join them, though. I'd gotten a babysitter until 2:30, thinking that would get me through the test (11-12:30 or 1) and part of lunch. But they couldn't get a table until 2:30, so I came home. Kind of a bummer.

At the test, I was talking to Justin about forms. "I had planned to do my forms once a week," I told him. "I'm not keeping up!"

"Last time I did them was when you came up to visit!" he said.

It's hard to stay on track when you're a black belt--lots of people have told me that. You don't have regular tests. You spend time helping the newer students instead of working on forms.

For me, one hard thing has been having to cut back on workouts--to just 2x a week. I'd love to go 3x a week, but it's hard to fit that in. Maybe this summer.

Hockey Fan

2007-04-13T16:22:00.000-05:00

I wanted to write a post about hockey.

Last Saturday, I went to my very first ever hockey game with my family. It was Bill's idea--he'd read about our minor-league team online somewhere and decided he needed to see it.

Well, I'm always up for something new! Bruce and Eli stayed home (both feeling a bit tired), but the rest of us went.

It was more fun than I thought it'd be. The game was fast-paced, easy to follow, and BEAUTIFUL to watch! The players are young, and they seem to have no sense of mortality or "what if I get injured?" They went at full speed: turning, dodging, weaving, skating forwards and backwards. And then BAM into the boards! All-out play.

Most people think of hockey as "that violent sport." There certainly was some rough stuff. Players would shove or punch each other, but then they'd move on--no brawls, and everyone seemed to get over it quickly.

That is, until the 3rd period. Then this really odd thing happened, twice. After a face-off or stop in play, two players would suddenly throw down their helmets and gloves, and stand in Fighting Stance. Others would clear away, and the refs would just stand by, eventually separating the two players, after they hit each other with bare knuckles and attempted to pull each other to the ice. Then, the refs would send the 2 fighters to the penalty box.

It was so odd--like it was planned!

I asked Brian about it--he loves hockey. "Testosterone," he said. Well, yeah. The whole thing was pretty testosterone-heavy. But I'm still puzzled about those little bare-knuckled sparring matches in the middle of the game.

Oh, our team won! But it would have been fun either way.

Trust

2007-04-11T21:20:00.000-05:00

At TKD on Monday, Ms. Pryor was teaching. That's always good.

Well, it's always good at TKD. I love the way our two teachers' approaches are different--we learn different things and in different ways from each teacher.

About mid-way through the class, Ms. Pryor said "let's have some of the men black belts up here. The bigger ones."

She had six guys stand in two rows facing one another at the front of the room perpendicular to the stage. They linked arms with the guy across from them.

"OK, Jane--go up on the stage."

I did, and I knew what was coming next. I went and stood on the stage in front of the guys with my back to them.

"This is all about trust," she said--to me and to everyone. "You have to trust the people you work with enough to know they'll catch you when you fall. Go ahead and fall back."

I did.

They caught me.

"Were you scared?" said Jason, incredulously, when I joined the rest of the class.

"Not really," I said. "I trust them."

"I can't believe you weren't scared!" Jason continued.

"Well, I've actually had a lot of practice with that sort of thing," I admitted.

As one of the smaller people in any group I was in when I was in my teens, I was often the one chosen to do the "trust fall" or to be lifted up by my youth group cohort (with only their index and middle fingers . . . has anyone done that?). I was the one who got picked up and tossed around during playful gatherings--thrown into snow, pools, other people's outstretched arms.

Well, maybe it was that. Or maybe it was just that I trust those guys.

Easter weekend in Iowa

2007-04-09T21:21:00.000-05:00

Here are a couple pictures from my family's visit to the dojang on Saturday. Here's 11-year-old Gabi breaking a board. That's my red leg in front; Master Hughes had them mirror me so they could get the kick right. That was a great teaching technique. I'll have to remember it.

Oh, did I mention I got a new uniform? The red uniform is our Black Belt Club uniform. I joined--it makes sense to join if you plan to test for Black Belt and First Degree.
And here's 9-year-old Maggie. Watch out, board!
Someone will have to send the photo of 13-year-old Anna breaking!

Here's what Justin found when he stopped by at our Easter dinner.
Martial artists have to eat, too!

Family Dinner

2007-04-09T13:17:00.000-05:00

"Hey, someone's coming to your house, Aunt Jane!" Maggie says.

We're in the middle of our Easter dinner, squeezed in my tiny dining room, eating ham and noodles and gingered carrots.

"Yeah," says Anna. "It's the guy we met at Tae Kwon Do--Justin!"

It is Justin. He's stopping by to say hello before he heads back to the university. I invite him to join us. He's just been at two Easter dinners, he says; his family's and one at another TKD friend's house. But he joins us at the table to chat.

We talk about college life, the weather, other things. When Justin has to leave, I give him a hug, tell him to get his dress shirt ready for next Saturday's test, and tell him I'll see him next weekend.

"Your Tae Kwon Do group is like a family," my brother-in-law, Ken, remarks after Justin leaves. "Master Hughes does more than just teaching. He's doing a social service. He brings people together of different ages and has social events for everyone so you can be together."

I'm pleased to hear this insight. I'd hoped this weekend that my family would be able to see what has drawn me so deeply into this group--this group that really has become an extended family for me.

Easter TKD

2007-04-08T10:36:00.000-05:00

I should be at the Easter service now, but when we got to church, Eli declared "I don't feel well." Normally, I would ignore this (Eli often "doesn't feel well"), but what with all the stomach maladies going around our family, I took him home. It turns out that he's having a recurrance of the croupy cough he had last week, so he's up in bed with a vaporizer.

Ah, the life of a mom: skip Easter celebrations to be with a sick kid.

But now I have time to tell about some of the weekend's festivities!

My brother and sister and their families came for Easter weekend. I had suggested it after Dad's funeral. I didn't want Bill to be home, NOT celebrating with Mom and Dad. Plus, Ellen and Ken are still living in an apartment--they needed a nicer place for Easter.

So they all came out here: my brother and his two girls, my sister and her husband and daughter.

And yesterday, we all went over to the dojang.

I'd suggested it, hoping they'd be curious enough to check out a class. The adults mostly wanted to watch and take photos, but my nieces all wanted to try it out. "I love trying new things," said Anna. Maggie has learned some caporia (sp?) at school, and Gabi has taken dance and drama, so they were ready. I dug up a bunch of TKD pants and t-shirts and they joined in.

It was a fairly small crowd, probably because of the holiday. But Master Hughes was there to teach. He's great with kids, and my nieces really enjoyed him. They learned some kicks, got a bit of a workout, and even broke boards. That made them especially proud!

At the end, we even had two birthdays to celebrate: Georgia's (she's 12), and Justin's (he turns 19 on Tuesday).

I brought boards so I could show my siblings that their "wimpy" sister can do amazing things--it took me a few tries, but I broke my usual 3-board combo. I believe the girls did better than I did!

Pictures will follow in a later post--my camera got left at the dojang. And I'll report on the hockey game we attended, too.

Women Black Belts

2007-04-04T15:04:00.000-05:00

I was thrilled when I got a catalog in the mail with images of a WOMAN black belt on it!

Black Belt magazine is pretty good about featuring women martial artists on the cover, but the ads are mostly men . . . I don't know how the other mags are.

So when I got this catalog, I thought--"she's like ME! The ponytail, the slender frame, skinny wrists!"

But after I thought about it, I realized there is one big difference.

I'm probably 20 years older than this model!

It sure would be cool if a martial arts picture featured a middle-aged woman (or maybe one of those gray-haired woman black belts!)

Exhaustion and Celebration

2007-04-03T22:05:00.000-05:00

Monday's class was a Classic Ms. Pryor Class: an awesome workout--and completely exhausting! I came home feeling stiff, sore, and wiped out, like an old person. I lay down on the bed while the boys were getting ready for bed, and practically couldn't get up again!

I loved it. Really. It was "a good tired."

But there was reason for celebration, too--Brian's birthday is this week and we celebrated in the usual TKD way--the singing, the gauntlet, the teasing, the treats (Brian brought Gatorade).

I gave him a special present: "the good stuff."

I tease him because he drinks some kind of lame beer--oh, I don't know, Micholob Lite ("Lite"!!!) or something--and calls it "the good stuff." This is not even Beer to me! So I bought him some Real Beer from a local brewery.

"You won't have to drink a six-pack to get a buzz from this," I warned him. "One bottle might do it." I think he's gonna love it!

2007-03-31T21:23:00.000-05:00

I stopped at a really nice dance store this weekend to pick up a pair of tights. The owner was in; he's the guy who fits pointe shoes for the students at our ballet studio. I mentioned that I'd thought about pointe, but had injured my ankle, and had pretty much decided against it.

"You should try it!" he said. "It will actually strengthen your feet and ankles. I know a number of moms who are learning pointe along with their daughters. They're really enjoying it."

His enthusiasm was catchy. For a few moments I thought again about learning pointe. Suki did encourage me--it's not just my crazy idea. And if I don't learn now, I won't. It would be cool just to try it, feel what it's like way up there. . . .

But as I drove away, I began to think again. Do I really need another training goal like that? I mean, I've worked toward--and gotten--my black belt. That takes a lot of time and determination. I want to keep it up. Do I need to add a couple half-hours of pointe training to my week? And the expense of shoes/pads (about $100)?

Ballet twice a week is probably enough for now. I was thinking that what I really need to do is to work toward strengthening my ankles and feet, especially the right side, so I could do reliable pirouettes on both sides.

Spreading the Word

2007-03-30T09:09:00.000-05:00

At church last Sunday, my friends Tricia and Darrell were telling me about their daughter, Emily. She's a bright and energetic 14-year-old whose strong will sometimes gets her in some trouble, despite the fact that she's very small--about 5'1".

"She was looking in the mirror," said Tricia. "I asked why. She said she'd been in a fight. Again. She didn't know if she'd gotten a black eye or not."

I asked if Emily would like to take martial arts.

"It might give her the confidence so that kids wouldn't want to mess with her," I said.

I gave Tricia and Emily a Free One Week Pass card (our school passes them out to current students). She seemed interested. I would enjoy having her in class.

Teaching

2007-03-28T19:55:00.000-05:00

I'm not going to be in town Saturday, so I decided to go this Wednesday. And instead of going to all-belts at 6 (and miss dinner with my guys again), I went to the kids' class at 4:30. I figured I'd do forms with any adults who might be there--or help teach if I needed to.

When I got there, Brian was up in the front teaching. There was a small group of kids--maybe 10 or so. I helped out, giving individual attention when necessary, helping a visitor learn some kicks, keeping the sparring going, finding mitts for those kids who didn't have any, etc., etc.

I decided that it's hard to do sparring with kids. Most of them don't really know what they're doing--they look every which way, don't get close enough, or, on the other hand, they hit each other too hard. I tried to keep a few of them focused . . . but it was tricky!

Brian and I ran through our forms after class--another problem with teaching is that you don't get the same degree of workout. But we solved that problem!

Stand up straight!

2007-03-26T16:06:00.000-05:00

Oooh, I remember how many times my mother said this to me when I was a teen! Little Cricket talked about "hunched shoulders" in a recent post, and it made me think of this. But the problem is, people don't really know how to stand up straight. I see this in TKD when we stand at attention. Many people stand like this: military posture.

Does the military really recommend this for standing at attention? Perhaps Ms. Pryor, Brian, or Jim will tell me. It's actually not good posture for someone who might need to move into action quickly.

Why? By throwing the shoulders back and sticking out the chest, you are not allowing your core muscles to be engaged. They aren't helping to keep your back straight--it's going to get tired. And your core muscles--the muscles of back, abdomen, and laterals--should be the epicenter of every movement. If movement starts from the core--or from the belt, as we like to say in martial arts--it will be stronger, more graceful and balanced.

Taking ballet has helped me improve my core muscles and has given a core of strength to everything I do, including TKD. In ballet (and in Pilates, I think), we learn to stand like this.

Do you see how her shoulders are right over her hips, and hips over knees, and knees over feet? That's good alignment. She's ready to move.

To achieve this, I think about aligning all those levels of my body, stacking one over the other. And then I think about my core: Carol says "short in front, long in back." You don't so much pull in your stomach as you close the rib cage and feel your ribs pull gently down toward the navel. Most people will need to tip their pelvis forward (lengthening the back).

It's easier to do this if your core is STRONG! I find this position rather unnatural; when I've been out of ballet class, my posture gets worse quickly! But when I'm doing ballet, it becomes more natural.

If you're not taking ballet, you can improve your posture by taking Pilates. Or you can do curls (modified sit-ups: press your lower back into the floor and initiate a small, curling upward movement with your abdominals)--maybe start with 10 and work up. I always like to start small when it comes to exercise!

Ow

2007-03-25T14:40:00.000-05:00

At the very beginning of class Saturday, I pulled a muscle. It was during one of our first moves--riding-horse-stance, middle punch. I felt something go twang in my shoulder.

I got through class, which included some good sparring practice, but I was feeling sore.

"Oh yeah,that's happened to me," said Brian A. "I hurt my hip in class last Monday and couldn't do class on Wednesday."

Yeesh. I hope I won't be incapacitated that long.

No More Stick Arms

2007-03-23T19:12:00.000-05:00

Three people have noticed the fitness of my arms recently. This is amazing to me because I have always been a person with stick arms.

Stick arms are the bane of skinny girls everywhere. There is nothing sexy about stick arms. They don't look good in short sleeves or sleeveless tops or swimsuits, so skinny girls hate summer clothes.

That's the way I always felt anyway.

But somehow, my arms are no longer stick arms.

The people who've noticed my arm fitness are ballet friends. Carol, who teaches ballet at the college, said she noticed that my "arm carriage" (or maybe "shoulder carriage") had improved. "You look strong," she told me. That made me feel good, as I'm currently taking a couple of weeks of ballet with the college kids.

(I think it might have been Carol who wrote the anonymous erudite and fun post about the lifespan of blood and the growth of muscles after my last post--on staying young.)

Lisa also noticed my arms looked good. We chatted for a while about being skinny girls--Lisa is still slender, but fit now. "I wish someone had told me that if I just did a few push-ups a day, my arms would look better," Lisa laughed.

The third person who noticed my arm fitness was Bruce. I told him I thought it was a side effect of middle age. "Lots of women who had nice, round, pretty arms when they were younger are now complaining about having arm fat," I said. "I complained about my arms when I was younger, so I'm getting nice ones now!"

I actually don't think it's arm fat. So take heart, you skinny-armed ones out there: some TKD, ballet, and a measly 10 push ups a day can make skinny arms nice.

You can stop "normal" aging

2007-03-20T15:18:00.000-05:00

This was the title of an article in this weekend's Parade magazine. Maybe you read it.

It had this information in it:

Most aging is just the dry rot we program into our cells by sedentary living, junk food, and stress. Yes, we do have to get old, and ultimately we do have to die. But our bodies are designed to age slowly and remarkably well. Most of what we see and fear is decay and decay is only one choice. Growth is the other.

So how do we achieve growth rather than decay? According to the article:

The hard reality of our biology is that we are built to move. Exercise is the master signaling system that tells our cells to grow instead of fade. when we exercise, that process of growth spreads throughout every cell in our bodies, making us functionally younger.

The article went on to talk about cell replacement. Most people know that our cells are constantly being replaced by new ones. Dead skin cells flake off, white blood cells just last 10 days, etc. I guess exercising means that the new cells stay strong and get stronger rather than just decaying from their birth day on.

I was imagining my cells getting stronger and my body staying young last night as I did combination kicking across the floor!

Have or Are?

2007-03-17T16:53:00.000-05:00

I have this bracelet that I like to wear to TKD--it says "black belt."

It made me think about how I explain being a black belt to people. I think I say "I am a black belt." Or maybe I say "I have a black belt it TKD."

I suppose it depends on the particular situation.

So, so we "have" a black belt? Or "are" we black belts?

Flow

2007-03-16T21:49:00.000-05:00

Robbie and I were practicing his trumpet solo for instrumental contest this evening.

"Have you practiced this with the piano before?" I asked. I practice with him at home, but he has another pianist for contest. The music is a bit too hard for me.

"I played in front of the band!" he said.

"Were you nervous?"

"No. I was just playing the piece," he said. "Sometimes when I play the trumpet, I kind of forget I'm playing. I just concentrate on the music."

"Be the music!" I said, smiling.

I'm glad Robbie's experiencing Flow when he plays music. What he said reminded me of my black belt test--I was each form at that test!

I hope Robbie achieves some measure of flow tomorrow morning at contest!

Eli Day

2007-03-14T21:35:00.000-05:00

I didn't make it to class tonight because it was Eli's 10th birthday. We had a special dinner (Eli's choice of hot dogs, watermelon, and chips), presents, and cake.

So instead of going to TKD, I wrote a few blog posts! Enjoy.

Short

2007-03-14T21:30:00.000-05:00

After class, Justin's mom appeared in the hallway. We chatted for a while; she seems to be very generous about letting Justin use her car during his spring break.

Suddenly she looked at me and said, "You're really short!"

And suddenly, I was--I didn't feel short until she said that.

I'm never sure about how to respond to comments like that ("Your hair's getting long!" "How do you stay so skinny?" are some others I've heard.)

I responded by saying, "Oh, I don't know. I'm 5'3"--is that short?"

TKD Field trip

2007-03-14T21:23:00.000-05:00

"We haven't gone to the Asian Market in a while, so anyone who wants to go, get your shoes on."

This is the way Master Hughes ended class today. And we all trooped down the stairs and out the door. Everyone was instructed to pick out one thing for $1 or less.

I forgot my camera, which is a bummer because there were lots of colorful moments:

--everyone walking down the city street in our white dobboks
--the children gathering around me as I showed them where the Pocky sticks were, and explained that they were long thin cookies you dipped in frosting
--Brian and I looking at the variety of teas--ginger, jasmine, green teas. I talked him into buying ginsing.
--a bunch of us looking at dried squid, which had a pungent ocean smell.
--the teen boys taking careful sips of the crazy drinks they bought: bird's nest soda, etc.

Bad Ideas

2007-03-11T16:19:00.000-05:00

Bad Idea #1
"Chris, are you taking Justin to the ultimate fighting matches this week?" I ask. Chris nods.

"Could you talk him into just watching this time, and not signing up to fight?"

Chris laughs.

"I just think it's a bad idea to sign up to fight without watching to see what they do first."

Justin had told me about trying out ultimate fighting while he was home on spring break. I think it's a Bad Idea. Actually, I think ultimate fighting in general is a Bad Idea.

Maybe that's just because I'm the taekwondoMOM.

Bad Idea #2
"Do you want to try a ridge-hand speed break," asks Ms. Pryor.

"Ummmmmm . . ." I answer.

I don't like breaking with my hands, but I think the ridge hand break looks mighty cool. I wish I could do it.

So I give it a try at class.

Bad Idea.

Not only do I not break, the attempt leaves my hand stinging and aching. I've got bruises all along my index finger and thumb.

Maybe that's what happens the first time you try . . . but I'm not sure I'm willing to risk a second try!

Meeting and Greeting

2007-03-09T20:10:00.000-06:00

Meeting people
Last week at the black belt dinner, the subject of meeting people came up. I think it was connected to a discussion of Justin's joining the Drum group and other ways people might meet friends when you're new to something, like college?

I didn't have any general suggestions, but after a while, I thought of a few ways I met people in college.

What worked at college for me
1. I joined groups where I could do things I liked to do with others who liked to do them, like chorus, the women's spirituality group, German table.
2. This phrase came in very handy: "Are you going to lunch?" Often I'd make sure I left the classroom with people I liked (chatting on the way) and then ask if they were headed to lunch. Or supper. Then we'd go together.
3. Another phrase: "Stop up for a cup of tea sometime." I had a hot pot, tea, and tea pot. A cup of tea is friendly and non-threatening, and it gave me a chance to chat with people one-on-one, which I like.

Meeting and greeting at the dojang
Being in Tae Kwon Do gives us the opportunity to meet and get to know people in a friendly atmosphere. In fact, I'd argue that we are bound by the tenets of TKD, especially courtesy, to reach out to others, and to make people feel welcome.

Meeting people in TKD is easy. I just go up to new people and extend my hand and say "Hi, I'm Jane." We're supposed to do that. And I usually stay and talk to those I meet--in fact, I often get caught up in a conversation with just one person.

There are two things, though, that puzzle me about martial arts courtesy/hospitality.

1. It's easy for current students NOT to greet people. You can either come in and get started working out, or you can hang out with your friends instead of making sure to welcome everyone. Lots of people at our school do this, and I admit I am guilty of this at times, too.

2. There's this odd (to me) tradition, at least at our school, that lower belts go around and greet black belts. So black belts could, if they wanted to, just wait until people came to meet and greet them.

I don't like this tradition. I'm sure it has something to do with respect and seniority. But I think that those who are most connected with the school and most senior should reach out to those who are least connected. Why couldn't black belts set an example by reaching out to others instead of waiting until people came to them? Some black belts do this at our school, and I think it's nice.

As a new black belt, I still try to walk around and say hello to my fellow students (unless I get caught up in a conversation with just one. . . )

I wonder what it's like at others' schools.

New Blog Profile

2007-03-08T21:22:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago, Justin mentioned that I ought to update the profile on my blog. It used to say:

Welcome to the Tae Kwon Do Mom blog. Over the next few months you'll find here descriptions and reflections of a 40-something writer, teacher, dancer, and mom of two boys who is, with mixed feelings, learning the Korean martial art Tae Kwon Do. I'd love to hear your comments!

If you look at the top of the blog, you can see the new text! Thanks for the writing suggestion, Justin.

TKDmom with a clipboard

2007-03-08T21:13:00.000-06:00

I went to the dojang yesterday with my clipboard. It's about time I got another dojang newsletter out, and I needed to do some interviews.

We'll have a couple of stories--one about Chelsea and Paul, who recently were promoted to 2nd degree and 1st degree, respectively. Aren't they photogenic?

There's another short piece about the mini-ninjas (4 and 5 year old students), a list of upcoming events, a schedule of classes, and a column by Master Hughes.

He wants me to leave room for an address label so newsletters can be sent out to students who haven't been around for a while. Maybe we can bring some back.

Road Trip, Drum Concert

2007-03-06T08:58:00.000-06:00

"Let me know when your concert is and I'll come up."

This is what I told Justin when he told me he was joining a West African Drum Group up at the university.

His first concert was yesterday, the first day of my college's spring break. So I went on a little road trip!

I planned to get there early so we could do a little TKD workout first. Justin says he hasn't been working out this term, and I wanted to go through all my forms once a week. We found an empty gym at the expansive fitness center and went through all the forms.

After a nice dinner at an Italian restaurant downtown, it was time for the concert. It began with some music majors in an ensemble with typical western percussion instruments: snares, field drums, marimbas, cowbells. The music was fun and surprising: one piece sounded like music from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, another was a setting of some 40's music, another sounded like a marching band cadence.

I love drum music. Always have. There's something about the rhythm, the way the sounds go right through your body. It was easy to spot the percussion majors--they were the ones who never seemed to hold still, like they had metronomes inside!

Justin's West African group came after the intermission. The students came out in West African tunics, and played djembas (I think that's how it's spelled).

The students--about 20 of them--played call-and-response pieces. The charismatic conductor led them, playing the "call" on his own drum.

Later, about half the group danced one of the songs while the other half played drums. The dance was communal and circular, with the earthy downward motions of African dance. Justin, who doesn't take dance or music lessons, was a natural at it--no surprise, as TKD teaches stage presence, and helps people learn combinations of movements.

I would have enjoyed the concert even if I didn't know someone in it. But it was especially fun to see Justin being a part of a group like that.

Proud?

2007-03-05T13:58:00.000-06:00

"Aren't you proud that you got your black belt?"

Two people asked me this question over the weekend. I saw Nancy at the Maple Syrup Festival, and she told me she'd seen my black belt pictures. And Kim, at church said the same thing. Her 10-year old just got his black belt, so we were chatting.

Am I proud?

I don't know if pride is the emotion that's foremost in my mind about the black belt.

Everyone seems to remember a conversation in the dojang when I was maybe an orange belt: I said I wasn't even sure if I were going to get a black belt. Everyone seemed shocked.

Many people do this martial arts thing because they want that black belt! They want it bad! So they work hard and . . . get it! Then some quit. Lots quit, I think.

But for me. I am doing this martial arts thing because I think martial arts are cool. I like DOING them. I want to learn more and get better. The black belt is kind of a side effect to learning more and getting better.

OK, I also had to train pretty hard for it. And have a good test.

The black belt signifies a lot, and I'm grateful that I've been able to do what I needed to do to get it. I'm pleased to be among the ranks of people like Master Hughes and Ms. Pryor, who are black belts.

But I'm not done with it yet. The black belt wasn't my end goal. Being a martial artist, a good martial artist is the goal, and I'm still learning. I don't think there'll be an end where I can sit back and just feel proud.

By the way, I'm going to comment on some of the posts about the last post (TKD Parties/BB Parties). My answers will be posted after your posts.

TKD Parties/BB Parties

2007-03-04T14:07:00.000-06:00

I had some pictures of yesterday's black belt dinner, but they accidentally got deleted off the camera.

I wonder how many dojangs do social activities as well as TKD practice. Ours has both. Seems like about once a month, there's something fun to do outside class--a party at the dojang, dinner out, a party at someone's house, a trip.

Yesterday, the black belts had barbecue at a local restaurant. It was mostly social, with some business thrown in. The business: deciding on our next social events! There's definitely another black belt dinner planned, after the next test. And Justin suggested ice skating at the local rink--that would be fun for the kids . . . and those of us adults who love to skate! I hope we do both.

Maybe social events seem unnecessary to some martial artists, but I suppose that depends on the reason one does martial arts.

At our dojang, we don't just work out together; we work together, too. We do work days at the dojang--cleaning before every test, of course, and a group has been working sporadically on a renovating a new women's changing room.

We play together, too--at parties, roller-skating rinks, on day-trips around the state.

Some people don't participate in the "extracurricular activities." Maybe they are too busy to include TKD in their social life. Apparently, some students also feel offended that we're asked to do work around the place. They feel that since we're paying for classes, we shouldn't have to work, too, etc. etc.

My response to that is, again, it depends on why those people are taking TKD. Are they taking it just to get exercise and become a black belt? Probably that person will just come to classes and skip the extra stuff. To get their money's worth? That person won't want to participate in work days. Or are they taking it to do all that AND become part of a community? That person can and will take advantage of working and having fun with fellow TKD students.

I didn't start TKD intending to become part of a community. I'm part of several communities already--the college community and my church family for example. But I have become part of the TKD community, and I've enjoyed it. I now have friends of all kinds and ages who love TKD. We've worked out together--now we work and have fun together, too.

MY black belt

2007-03-03T14:02:00.000-06:00

I got MY black belt today.

See--it has my name on it--in Korean!

Master Hughes didn't have this one in time for the belt ceremony, so he gave it to me today, just before class started.

It was a good class. I got there early and went through forms with Stephanie. During class, Master Hughes helped me with my form, we practiced kicks, and had a sparring round-robin. I did pretty well--beat 3 teen boys (not bad, eh?!) and got to spar Dillon and John, some of my favorite sparring partners.

Then I faced Justin, and got shut out! I also got to referee the match between Justin and Brian A. which was fun, too.

Now that I'm a black belt, I have proper black belt leg warmers, which I needed since the dojang was chilly when I got there.

They really helped getting my stiff muscles warmed up for class. I would recommend them to anyone. Click here for a link to the leg warmers on the website. They're not expensive ($5.95) and Discount Dance ships very quickly--you'll have them within the week!

Visiting ballet student

2007-03-02T11:27:00.000-06:00

Yesterday my ballet class was cancelled due to the weather. I was very disappointed. Last week, one class was cancelled, too! And I really wanted to get back to 2x a week.

Suddenly it occurred to me that I could go to the ballet class at the college, which meets TTh.

A couple of semesters, I've taken dance (ballet and modern) at the college. Carol, who teaches the classes, also teaches at the ballet school where I usually take classes. Although it's odd dancing with a bunch of 20-year olds (some of whom I've had in class), it's fun to have a different teacher.

"Can I dance with you today?" I asked Carol when I got to the theatre building where they hold class.

"Sure!" she said. "And I want to tell you I've been enjoying your blog. Congratulations on your black belt and I am so sorry about your parents."

It's always a special thrill to me when I find out someone else is reading my blog! I suppose Suki gave Carol the URL!

Class was great. The students are mostly beginners, but that doesn't matter. Any ballet class can be a good workout--beginners do the exercises and combinations at one level; more experienced students work at a higher level. I left class feeling that satisfying exhaustion of muscles that have really worked.

Pegged?

2007-02-28T19:06:00.000-06:00

Our dojang has some classes for very small children--ages 4 and 5. They're called "mini ninjas."

Master Hughes was the first TKD instructor to have classes for this age--he got a national award for it. He's excellent with those tiny kids: enthusiastic, patient, and encouraging. Kids at that age don't have good attention spans, and some of the ones he gets in that class are obviously headed for an ADHD diagnosis. But he gets them to learn to concentrate.

Recently, the mini ninjas have been working out with the all-belts classes. It just worked out best for Master Hughes's schedule. They start off stretching with us, then get some individualized instruction. . . . from black belts.

At first, I thought "oh no, I'm going to be asked to help teach them." Being a mom and a teacher, I figured he'd have me pegged as a good instructor for those little ones.

But at first, Master Hughes enlisted some of the younger teens: James, John, Dillon, and Stephanie.

Apparently the kids liked working with "teenagers"--they thought it was cool.

But the past two classes, I've been asked to help with the mini ninjas.

OK, I am fine with little kids. And I'm used to hyper boys, having one myself. And I know about teaching and learning. I actually enjoyed it, and felt like they learned something--my goal Monday was to get the kids to stop and look at the kicking pad before they kicked, and they were doing it. They are awfully cute.

Still, I don't want to be pegged as "the mom" whose job it is to work with and/or babysit little ones. I'd like to work with other people--the other new women in the dojang, for instance--and I want to learn my new form!

Brian's Shoes

2007-02-27T14:15:00.000-06:00

Kicker Chick was interested in hearing what Brian had to say about his martial arts shoes. They were a part of his Black Belt essay.

Here's what he said about them:
And finally, some of you still ask why I wear shoes? Due to flat feet, they allow me to come out here and take class. I would like to thank students who has sparred with them, and apologize to any students that may have had more contact than a “light” to “no” contact. And that apology goes for Jason also who never wanted to get close to “those shoes.”

Ice!

2007-02-26T08:05:00.000-06:00

The ice storm got worse. Saturday night, we lost power. It went out just as we sat down to supper, and didn't come back until after midnight.

Some places in town still do not have power, like the neighborhood where Ms. Pryor and Brian live.

Downtown seems OK, so the dojang should be functional--still, I wonder if we'll have classes.

All this reminds me of January 2005, when I started TKD. Then, a snow day postponed my first day as a student!

Ice Storm

2007-02-24T11:29:00.000-06:00

No TKD today, and the Black Belt dinner has been postponed. We are in the midst of an ice storm!

Here's my kitchen window . . .

and my little green car!

Footwear

2007-02-22T12:45:00.000-06:00

I need some new ballet slippers, obviously. See those holes in the toes?

This is not a cause for celebration. Most dancers feel proud of ratty, worn out slippers. They show how much we've worked. Plus, new ones are a pain to break in. You have to wear them and sweat in them until they mold to your feet and start to feel good.

For a while, I thought about getting martial arts shoes
--I thought they might help that inflamed tendon below my ankle. It's hard to workout barefoot on a hardwood floor, especially as one gets older. Brian, who has plantar fascitis, wears shoes for Tae Kwon Do; in fact, he wrote about them in his black belt essay.

And now Master Hughes has started wearing shoes in class. He has the same plantar fascitis trouble. For a while he wore martial arts shoes. But now he wears

Crocs!

In ballet, teachers often wear "pedinis,"
a teaching shoe that's flexible, but has a heel to give more support through long days of being on your feet to teach. Maybe Master Hughes and Brian should try them!

Black Belt Questions

2007-02-20T21:16:00.000-06:00

Question #1
TKDMom (coming in to class on Saturday, wearing my black belt for first time): Is my belt the right length?

Brian A: Looks good!

Ms. Pryor: It should be to mid-thigh. The ends should make a curve, then hang down. (She shows her belt's graceful curves which look like a fu-manchu moustache.) Black belts should hang. (This comment causes Brian A. to crack up.)

Question #2
TKDMom (realizing that I need to line up somewhere different because of my new black belt seniority): Where am I supposed to be? I think I must have a new home.

Someone points to the spot: now I'm ahead of James and Stephanie, who have not yet tested for black belt.

Ms. Pryor: It's not a new home, it's always been your home.

Question #3:
How do martial artists celebrate a birthday?

Answer:
"There's a birthday to celebrate today," says Master Hughes at the end of Monday's class.

Everyone lines up in two lines while Jessie and I ("two birthdays!" says Master Hughes) stand at the top. Everyone sings "Happy Birthday" to Jessie, who is 10, and then she runs down the gauntlet, getting lots of good-natured "spanks" and pats on the back.

Then it's my turn. "Jane is 23 this year," jokes Master Hughes. Everyone sings. As I look down the lines at them, I am warmed by the sight of the familiar faces looking back at me--friends, now--people I've spent a lot of time with.

I run the gauntlet, too, and then go over to get my treats. Jessie is handing out red licorice whips. ("I can't eat any," I tell her as she offers me one. "It'll pull the braces right off my teeth.") I hand out Hershey's Kisses and Hugs. Brian jokes that he heard I was handing out Metamucil. I give him chocolate anyway. We make plans to go out for breakfast this week to celebrate.

When I get home, I get a call from Justin. "Happy Birthday!" he says. "I was going to call early this morning, but I overslept." I tell him it doesn't matter.

It doesn't! I just like the way martial artists celebrate birthdays, especially around here.

What Tae Kwon Do Means to Me

2007-02-19T10:08:00.000-06:00

Hey martial artist readers: was there a written portion to your black belt test?

There is to ours. We have a several-page-long test on terminology, meaning of forms, flags, TKD. And we have to write a 2-page essay on What Tae Kwon Do Means to Me.

I enjoyed writing the essay. If you want to read it, I've posted it here.

Birthday Season

2007-02-18T19:56:00.000-06:00

Usually, I'm not one of those adults who "dreads" birthdays--in fact, I love celebrating them: mine and others'. I always say that people should celebrate for the entire birthday week . . .

But this year, I've been feeling a bit down during my own birthday week. I miss my parents.

It's not so much the childhood parties I'm nostalgic for: it's the way they celebrated with me once I was an adult. They would always call me up on the phone, usually in the morning and sing to me, even in recent years when their health wasn't good. I'd look forward to that birthday call.

They gave wonderful "grown-up"gifts, too: plane tickets to come see "Marriage of Figaro" (the opera) in Cleveland with them, a sewing machine, and, for my 40th birthday, a collection of reference books for writers (American Heritage Dictionary, a good thesauraus, a book of quotes).

But that phone call was always the highlight. I loved getting the call and hearing them sing to me.

So you can see that tomorrow, the actual day, will be strange without their call to expect.

Maybe my guys (especially Bruce) thought I might be feeling odd at this birthday. Or maybe they just had a great birthday idea. Because at the end of this day, which I spent trying to keep busy so I wouldn't feel sad, they gave me a great birthday party.

We had supper at home, and then they brought out two presents. The first was a gift certificate to an art shop that does frames ("so you can frame your Black Belt certificate."). The second was . . . look!

They got me this beautiful ceremonial sword. It seems huge--but I guess it's regular size--and it has an engraving of a dragon on one side. It will be beautiful hanging on a wall. I understand Master Hughes had some part in the gift purchase!

I've never gotten a gift so unusual before! I love it!

I'm still going to miss that phone call from Mom and Dad tomorrow, but the sword will remind me of some new things in my life--of my family's pride in my TKD accomplishment, and of my own future in TKD.

Beginner again

2007-02-17T16:28:00.000-06:00

I love having a chance to be a beginner again!

The black belt test is over, the belt ceremony is over, the cake has been eaten. And now I get to learn a new form: Kwang-Gae.

It's just like learning my very first form: I feel awkward following the new moves, and excited when I finally get them.

It's good to be back at work.

More Belt Ceremony photos and reflections . . .

2007-02-16T14:25:00.000-06:00

(Robbie wants to show off that without my shoes, I'm shorter than he is)

The belt ceremony was fun, and it was great to have that beautiful cake. But about 1/2 way through I just felt tired of being the center of attention. I kind of wished I could have just gone on to start learning my new form!

I don't mean to sound ungrateful--I was very very grateful for all of those who made the party fun, and it was a hoot cutting the cake with that Korean sword . . . but it's kind of like getting married, or having a baby. It's nice to have all that fuss over you for a while, but at some point you just want to go on with your life in your new role.

I look forward to that at Saturday's class.

And of course, I'm going to get prints of all these great photos . . . :-)

Belt Ceremony--first pictures

2007-02-14T21:12:00.000-06:00

Sports Photography

2007-02-14T09:52:00.000-06:00

Funny to think that I am the subject of sports photography . . . but I guess I am!

After every test, we all get copies of the photos Brian A. has captured with his good eye for a picture and his high-tech digital SLR camera.

Here are a few.

Me and Brian, in the front row, with our really high kicks.

The end of Chun Mu, the high form for this test.
This is probably Palgwe 2 or 6. I like this because you can see Bruce in the background!
Palm strike through two boards!

Mixed Feelings

2007-02-13T12:34:00.000-06:00

Two months ago, when I took the December promotional test, I wrote about how I often have mixed feelings after a test, even if I do well. Many of you readers wrote in to tell me the same thing happens to you.

I certainly had mixed feelings after my black belt test, even though I did well. I had a hard time sleeping that night--maybe because I was still processing all that had gone on that day.

Good things--focus
I was pleased at the way I was able to focus at the test. That was one of my goals in TKD--to be able to focus enough not to get jittery or mixed up. It just felt like everything else just fell away. I was aware of the others doing their forms, and of people taking pictures, but they were far away.

This is helpful in so many venues, not just TKD. I think my increasing ability to focus helped me at the ballet recital in June, and it helped when I gave a eulogy at my parents' memorial service.

Forms
My forms went well. Ms. Pryor had given me advice on my back stance, and I was determined to use that advice. I slowed down enough that I could "lead with my knee" and get lower in the stance, just like she told me.

High Kicks
That pesky hamstring wasn't bothering me, so my front kicks were high! Brian A. took some photos, which I'll post later. Maybe I was able to kick because of all the ibuprofen I took before the test :-)

Breaking
Board breaking went well. I didn't break the first time, but the only person I've seen do that at a BB test was Brian! Everyone at the August test needed at least one extra try. I think even Ms. Pryor had to take a couple tries in her 4th degree test.

It only took me 2 tries for the 2-board palm strike. I wish I could have broken with the jump-reverse, which Master Hughes wants us to try, but it just wasn't working. Luckily, he let me break with a flying side kick, and that went better. Cracked the boards on the first attempt, and broke the back two (why didn't the front one break?) on the second.

Not so good
The past 2 months haven't been very good for sparring for me. My same-size partners, Mindy, Jamie, and Aimee, haven't been there. It's OK to spar with Brian or Kevin, or to spar with children, but it's just not good practice. So I know that I was not my best at sparring. I just hoped they'd remember this fall when I was at my best in sparring!

Also, we were asked to do 2-on-one sparring. I'd kind of forgotten about that (it's not on the "what you need to do for the test" sheet). The Wednesday before the test, Pam and Brian gave me a quick tutorial, but I was having trouble. So when time came to do that, I felt totally unprepared.

At one point in the test, Ms. Pryor gave me some feedback. She told me I didn't do well at sparring and didn't break 1st time because I was thinking too much. I wasn't relying on instincts.

As she talked to me about instinct, I began to have a sinking feeling. I don't really have much of a fighting instinct. Maybe none.

(I've never been in a physical fight with anyone--my brother and sister were teasing me about this when I was home. My instinct is paralysis, or disengagement when met with a physical threat.)

So I told her I'd need to practice and learn that instinct, or strengthen it. She said that you can't practice for it or learn it.

I had this sudden gut feeling: Oh no. I'm doomed. I can't be a really good martial artist.

I've since wondered about fighting instincts. I believe I can learn it, or at least strengthen what I have, but it'll take practice, just like someone with the opposite problem, the person who fights ALL the time has to learn to back off or negotiate. And they have to practice that.

I can learn and practice.

After the BB test

2007-02-12T15:59:00.000-06:00

It was hard to leave the dojang after Saturday's test. Even Eli wanted to stay after Bruce and Robbie left; he and Justin discussed the best Star Wars episodes. Black belts and other students stood around chatting, congratulating each other, laughing. The kids ran around, as usual.

My dear friends from ballet, Katharine and her daughter Leihrin, came to watch the test--Bill and Roan were there, too (Katharine's husband and son). Bill and both kids are learning Tang Soo Do--something I want to watch sometime. They all congratulated me and gave me a box of gourmet chocolates!

Once we were ready to go, someone proposed going over to The Olive Garden. We took over two huge tables, a total of 22 people--TKD students and their families. There was a lot more laughing, storytelling, and teasing!

Later that evening, there was another TKD party--this one I wasn't able to attend. I had a date . . .

Here I am with my date, my son Robbie, at the college presidential reception and ball--I am wearing my yin-yang necklace in honor of my test. Robbie and I hung out with college friends and loved the great food and drink and inspiring jazz music--a celebratory way to end the day.

Black Belt Test: The Day After

2007-02-11T14:15:00.000-06:00

No suspense necessary. At the end of the test, Ms. Pryor asked me some questions about how I thought I did, and gave me some advice/goals for the future (as usual!).

Then she said "You passed."

Now, this isn't the final word. Ms. Pryor is 2nd in rank to Master Hughes. She told me she'd share HER view of the test, but that the ultimate decision is up to Master Hughes. I didn't talk with him--in fact, he left right after the test.

Here is what I think of my test: I did my personal best.

I know that's a cliche, but it's how I feel. I don't always do my best at "final performances;" sometimes I get a case of nerves, or haven't really rehearsed that well.

But this time, I did live up to all the practice. I did do my best. What is it those annoying "inspirational" posters say? I gave 110% at that test!

Very satisfying feeling, that.

There will be lots of picture soon--Brian A. had his nice camera, and he's also going to put together a DVD with footage that others shot on camcorders!

Bruce and Robbie took a few pictures. Here they are.

Black Belt Test Week: Almost ready

2007-02-09T21:22:00.000-06:00

The dojang gets ready for the test: lots of students show up to do vacuuming, mopping, cutting boards.

TKD Mom gets ready--uniform pressing, and flowers from Ellen, Ken, and Gabi!

Black Belt Test Week: Mentor

2007-02-09T10:23:00.000-06:00

Last night, Ms. Pryor watched me do my forms and step sparring. I'd saved the last column of my board for her. Both she and Master Hughes have been great mentors to me as I've been learning TKD.

Master Hughes
Master Hughes teaches by example, showing us all how to have enthusiasm and energy for teaching, how to welcome new students, and how to encourage and challenge others.

He challenges us, too. I especially like when he works with us one-one-one or in small groups on our forms. He has won national competitions in forms, and his moves are powerful and dramatic. Sometimes recently, he's been busy getting new people started--and he even has some of the tiniest TKD students working out at the back of the room on MW. I hope that as I continue as a black belt that he's able to continue instructing me. I wonder, now that we have so many new black belts, if he might start a Black Belt class.

Ms. Pryor
Ms. Pryor mentors by challenging us--to do forms with more power and crispness and drama, to work harder at aerobic stuff, to move to higher levels in sparring. She helped me prepare for the two tournaments I went to in the fall, and I'm sure it was her advice that helped me do as well as I did. She sets an example with her intensity, her love of Tae Kwon Do and her devotion to good teaching.

She also is very reflective and philosophical on the meaning of martial arts in her life, and she wants us to be, too.

Last night, before we started, she handed me her belt. "I want you to get the feeling of this belt," she said. She pointed out that it's thicker and wider than the other colored belts. Hers, I noticed, is slightly worn at the edges. It felt heavy and full of meaning.

As I worked through my forms, she gave advice. She corrected movements, but more of it was general: to make my stances bigger, to lower my back stance, to make blocks more powerful. That kind of global advice seems most useful to me.

She surprised me, though, when we were done. "Take all this advice with a grain of salt," she said. "You can use this advice when you're doing your test--or not. It's up to you."

I think I was already sorting out what parts of her advice would be most helpful to me, but it meant a lot that she was letting me choose. That seems to be an important step for a black belt. Now my martial arts education is truly going to be my own.

Black Belt Test Week: Eat!

2007-02-08T16:44:00.000-06:00

I've noticed something during the past weeks of training for the test: I need to eat more than usual to keep my energy up. If I forget and have a very light lunch, I'm starving and out of energy by the time class comes around.

Kind of fun to be able to eat what I want, though!

Black Belt Test Week: "Are you ready?"

2007-02-07T21:45:00.000-06:00

"Are you ready for Saturday?"

Everyone wants to know. This test is a big deal: all the forms, sparring, basic moves, kicks, step-sparring. And of course breaking: two with hand, three with foot. Maybe there'll be 2-on-one sparring or some self-defense. Plus the written exam. Plus reading the essay. It's a lot.

How do I answer?

The funny, joking answer: "I'm ready to be done training! I'm tired."

The real answer. "Yes. I'm ready."

Black Belt Test Week--Study Cards

2007-02-07T17:01:00.000-06:00

I'm trying to memorize TKD terms, meanings of forms, and things like numbers in Korean. Brian had the idea to put them on notecards. It works pretty well. I can study them anywhere! Part of our test is written, so we need to know these pretty well.

Black Belt Test Week: Learning styles

2007-02-06T14:35:00.000-06:00

I'm glad I'm training for this black belt test with Brian. He reminds me to study. "Repetition is a form of learning," says Brian.

Personally, I like the light bulb method of learning myself. You know, when you're struggling to get something, or faced with something new, and someone says something to you and suddenly--!--you get it!

That's happened to me so many times in TKD, like learning how to do a flying side kick. Someone pointed out that I needed to jump sooner, and he pointed to the exact place on the floor where I should jump. "Oh!" I said, and could do flying side kicks just fine every since.

I think this is probably because I'm a "global learner." At least with TKD. Well, actually, for most things. That's the way I feel most comfortable learning. I have to be reminded, by people like Brian, that learning takes many different approaches.

What kind of a learner are you? You can take the Learning Styles Questionnaire for free and find out.

As usual, most people aren't always ONE style, but if you think of one particular activity that you're learning about--TKD or math or writing--as you take it, you can get a sense of how you learn in that situation.

Black Belt Test Week: Getting Advice

2007-02-05T21:36:00.000-06:00

Over the past couple of months, I've had lots of black belts from our school watch me do forms. That's been quite an education. Each person notices different things and gives slightly different kinds of advice.

Brian A. and Patrick are really good at remembering and noticing the small details in the forms--Brian noticed that my hands weren't in quite the right position as I started up the "I" in HwaRang, for example.

Justin said that he watches for general trends--like the fact that I don't always get my back foot straight in a front stance, especially after turning.

Ms. Pryor had me work on things like phrasing and punctuation (!). I like the way she sees each form as a dramatic piece. Once I finally "got" that idea, I think my forms improved immensely.

Today, Pam had us (me, Brian, Kevin) do our forms facing different directions--different from each other, and different directions for each form. She also called out two, which we'd have to do in succession. That was good practice.

Pam also had some encouraging words. "Your forms look good," she told me. "You have good strong moves--you're bringing your arms way back."

That made me feel good to get praise from her--Pam is very good at forms.

Black Belt Test Week: Test Prep

2007-02-04T21:07:00.000-06:00

Earlier today, Brian and I met Master Hughes at the dojang to do our forms for him. He and Ms. Pryor are the two last ones to watch us do our forms before the test. Everything went pretty well, though I went through 2 or 3 forms before I was really concentrating enough to do them without hesitation. I told Brian that we needed to get there before our test and walk through all the forms, just for memory's sake.

Robbie came along with my new digital camera (I finally replaced the one that was stolen.) You can see he was having fun taking pictures. I'll have more pictures in this blog again from now on.

(Yes, I'm wearing my ballet leg warmers under my uniform in these pictures. It's REALLY cold here these days.)

Memento

2007-02-04T16:37:00.000-06:00

I found this bunny when my sister and I cleaned out my parents' apartment.

It was a toy that came with a McDonald's Happy Meal. I can just picture the circumstances.

My dad is out with one of his retired friends, running errands (he couldn't drive for the last couple years of his life, but there were always friends to take him to appointments, etc.). As they're driving back, Dad sees a McDonald's.

"Let's go through the drive-through at McDonald's," he tells his friend. "I think I'd like a Happy Meal." It was hard for Dad to eat during the last year or so, too--he had lost a few molars due to the cancer and meds.

He takes the Happy Meal home and shares the fries with my mom, maybe the cheeseburger, too. He shows Mom the black belt bunny that came with the meal.

"Oh. That's Jane," Mom says. They put the bunny with the photos of kids and grandkids in the bay window. That's where I found it after Mom died.

The bunny's always in my TKD bag now, not so much a good luck charm as a reminder of my parents.

Deadlines . . . .

2007-02-02T21:32:00.000-06:00

I don't know if I'll make one of my black belt deadlines.

At our school, we have to have other black belts watch our forms and step sparring before we test--13 times. The black belts sign a board to help us keep track.

I still need 4 more signatures.

I'd hoped to get someone to watch and sign on Wednesday, but there weren't any adult black belts there except Ms. Pryor and Master Hughes (they'll watch our forms over the weekend).

Today, I went to forms class, hoping to practice and get someone to watch. But no black belts were there except Brittany, who didn't want to sign my board (she just tested, and has to retake part of the test).

So I still need 4 signatures.

I didn't want to be getting signatures during the last week of training, but I guess I will be. I just hope I can get all the signatures and finish my board. At this point, I'm totally dependent on others to help me finish my training.

Black Beltish

2007-02-01T16:51:00.000-06:00

I felt black beltish yesterday evening.

I'd brought my test application and my checkbook to pay for the test. Master Hughes told me about the Black Belt Club at our school and invited me to join it. I think I will. They get a red uniform (and/or workout pants with "Black Belt Club" on them), free boards to break, discount on future tests. They used to have parties and dinners together--maybe they will again.

I was asked to start class, which was fine. Though teaching at TKD is a bit of a busman's holiday, I don't mind. I did the standard warm up stuff plus some work on front kicks (I'd heard Ms. Pryor reminding someone to chamber their kick, so I thought maybe we needed to work on those.)

During sparring, I was mostly paired up with children, so got to work on teaching some more. At the end, I was paired up with Ms. Pryor, who seems to be pushing me to move to the next level in sparring. I'm glad.

I'd like to spend some time getting some one-on-one sparring coaching with her. Maybe after the test . . . or maybe even before! I want to work on speed, new combinations, and learning to anticipate openings so I can land the point more often. I love sparring.

We often end with flying side kicks; we did yesterday, too. Again, I was having trouble seeing the bag--what's with that? I don't have trouble if I do a flying side kick into a pad that someone's holding--or a board. But there's something about that heavy bag--the way it has no feet!

So after I had trouble, I went up and just looked at it from the side while people jumped. I think Ms. Pryor thought I was crazy. But that helped me be able to see where I needed to jump, and the next jump was spot on.

We celebrated Master Hughes's birthday, too, a bit late! It made me wish I'd replaced my camera by now . . . maybe I'll have one by the time of the test.

Overwhelmed

2007-01-31T09:40:00.000-06:00

At class on Monday, Master Hughes gave me a card from the TKD folks. When I got home, I looked at it.

The entire card was covered with signatures and notes of condolence from all my TKD friends, children, teens, adults. And inside was a collection they'd taken for my parents' memorial fund, an amazingly generous amount.

I was completely overwhelmed.

I will ask if I can publically thank everyone during class tonight.

Mom and Dad would be glad to know I'm part of such a caring group of people.

To Wait or not to Wait

2007-01-29T12:58:00.000-06:00

To Wait
If I wait and test in April, I would take a few weeks "off" now because there is no way I can sustain this level of workouts for another 8 weeks. Maybe I would just go to TKD 2x a week for a while. I'd then gear up again about 4 weeks before the test. It would give me time to answer condolence mail, and get caught up at Coe.

Not to Wait
If I don't wait, if I test Feb. 10, I would keep up my 5x week schedule for now and just push ahead. I'm not quite ready to answer condolence mail now anyway, and I'm getting caught up at Coe.

Sunday Workout
I had planned to work out with Brian and Kevin after supper, but when Justin said he's like to work out too, and could meet earlier, I took him up on it. We worked out at the college. He had me do step-sparring, in random order, and watched my forms.

His advice: bigger moves (specifically, be sure to reach all the way back on a double-middle-knifehand guarding block) and be sure to get my feet pointing forward in front stances (specifically after I turn).

An insight
I'm working and studying hard for this particular test, but I don't see it as cramming. When it comes right down to it, I've been preparing for the blackbelt test ever since I was a white belt. I didn't know it at the time! Since this summer, we've been required to work on all our forms before every test.

So, if I can't pass without intense cramming, I'm not doing a very good job as a student. The heavy-duty workouts I'm doing now just give me a chance to get things polished and make sure I have everything exactly right--and so I can do an excellent performance when everyone's watching.

Good Days, Bad Days

2007-01-27T14:40:00.000-06:00

Seems like when you're grieving, there are good days and bad days. Just yesterday, I said to Bruce that I haven't felt like myself in a long time. I just feel this constant low-level sadness, interrupted by periods of high-level sadness.

But this morning, I woke up feeling good. I figured it would be a good day to go to TKD.

And it did feel good to get there. My tight hamstring has had some time to heal, so that's better, and I actually had the energy to do Tae Kwon Do. I went through forms with Stephanie and Brian, and remembered them--pretty well.

I still haven't decided if I'll go through with the black belt test. After today, my inclination is to do it. It feels good and cheers me up to work out. I talked to my good friend Wendy on the phone this morning, and she thought it would be good to have something to work for.

Ms. Pryor and I also talked about the test. She reminded me that I didn't have to push myself to test in February if I wasn't ready. Testing now might mean that I'm not my best at one of the most important tests in my TKD life. And that's true. As I said to Brian, "I feel like I've gotten the wind knocked out of me by all this." Though today was good, it remains to be seen if I can continue with energy.

I won't decide yet. I'm going to work out as usual this week, probably SMTWF with ballet on Th. And we'll see. If I get back to the level I was at before Dad died, I'll keep going. If not, I'll just test later. Either way will be fine.

Keep moving

2007-01-24T19:49:00.000-06:00

I swam this morning before the meeting with the lawyer about Mom and Dad's estate and trusts.

"That must have felt good," said my brother-in-law.

It did.

I'll be back home by Thursday evening. I think I'll go to TKD Saturday.

It will probably feel good.

My Parents

2007-01-23T08:41:00.000-06:00

We were thrilled to find out that the Cleveland Plain Dealer wanted to do an article about my parents. You can read it at
http://filer.case.edu/wpc/misc/ClaspyLife.pdf

Dad

2007-01-21T06:23:00.000-06:00

Dear blog-readers:

I am writing from Cleveland. My father passed away early Friday morning, one month and one day after my mother's death. We will have visitation and a burial service for him, then a memorial service at their church for both of them.

It may be a while before I begin to post regularly again. But I am a writer. A writer writes. Perhaps writing--about this event or even just about Tae Kwon Do--will help. I think it will. And I know that getting back to TKD will help, too.

Until then, keep my family in your thoughts and prayers.

Ballet Inspiration

2007-01-18T16:15:00.000-06:00

Today ballet classes started up again. It was so good to get back. The exercises just pull one's muscles back into place again in such a delicious way.

Two things inspired me at ballet today (besides just going).

1. It was Joanne's birthday--she turned 60! We all congratulated her on having reached this milestone. I told her she was my role model. "I hope to be doing ballet at age 60," I told her. "What about after age 60?" asked Suki (she is a bit past 60). "And past 60!" I replied.

2. Suki and some of my classmates are very keen to go to my black belt test. Suki even wrote down the date and place in her calendar. I would love it if they came--I think they would enjoy seeing it. There are so many parallels between martial arts and dance. I hope they can come!

Moments of inspiration

2007-01-17T21:52:00.000-06:00

I'd spent the day finishing freelance writing projects (including a 30 minute drive to a photo shoot), sorting through administrative stuff at the college, and trying my courses set so students can function when I go to Cleveland. I got back home just in time to head out again to go to Robbie's school conference.

I considered skipping TKD. I'd be late anyway.

But I remember James was going to be there to sign my board . . . so I went.

Everyone has days when they just don't feel like working out. This was definitely one. Plus, I've just been feeling emotionally wrung out recently. It was hard to get into anything at class. Even sparring.

At the end of sparring time, we had the chance to "find someone you want to spar with." I just stood there.

"Jane, do you want to spar?"

Ms. Pryor was standing there.

"Oh. OK!"

Sparring with Ms. Pryor is about my favorite thing. I'm challenged to hold my own while I learn a few things by observation and experience (getting hit!) I want to learn from her "finesse" style of sparring--she uses speed, flexibility, and intuition/psychology to win.

After sparring, she gave me some pointers and showed me a few things I could do to make my sparring better:
1. pick up the pace of my kicks. I can be fast, but I need to work on throwing kicks in quicker succession
2. try new combinations of kicks, and/or learn how to tell which combinations, old or new, will work best in any given situation. (Tall order, but fun.)

She challenged me to work on that so that I can show improvement at the black belt test.

For those moments, I felt my enthusiasm for TKD flood back, despite exhaustion (physical and emotional). "That cheered me up," I told her.

Of course, after class, I was--once more--exhausted. And the top of my foot hurt where I'd roundhouse kicked a pad wrong.

"Maybe I should stop doing Tae Kwon Do," I muttered as I went in to tuck Eli in to bed. I must say that there have been times, especially this week, when I've considered postponing all this testing--as Kicker Chick also suggested in her comment to my last post.

"Maybe, but you should get your black belt first, Mom," said Eli. "You've worked so hard."

That comment, from Eli cheered me up, too. Sometimes, I'm not sure I have the support of my family in this martial arts venture (except for grudging acceptance of all the many hours I've been gone at class over the past months). But maybe they're more proud of me than I realize.

Blog writing and revision

2007-01-16T14:41:00.000-06:00

I just revised my last blog post, Children. You might want to read the new version.

Revising it made me think about some of the disadvantages of blogs. I'd just read an article in the New York Times called "24 Hour News People" by David Carr who has a blog with nytime.com. He was doing some hand-wringing about how blogging has affected the way he writes.

"The speed of conversation is a prt of what is good about [blogs], but then some of the reflectiveness, the ability for careful summation and expression is lost," says a blog-expert Carr interviewed, Clay Sharkey at NYU.

I agree. As much as I try to make these blog-posts reflective and substantive, it's not always easy. Unlike Carr, I don't have people telling me in posts what I should write about. But other aspects of blogging shape the way I write.

Yesterday's post, Children, is a case in point.

I hadn't posted since Saturday, and it was Monday. When you start a blog, you make a kind of uspoken promise to your readers that you will post consistently, close to every day. So even if I have no ideas, I have to find some and write. No writer's block allowed!

Mostly, my writing fits this format. Sometimes I think of a post while doing something else. "I'm writing a blog post," I told Bruce as we sat together after dinner and I realized I was staring out the window. Other times, a word, image, or experience will get me started on a post.

But sometimes, I need time: to let an idea percolate and come together. And blogging doesn't allow for that, really.

So I just revised that last, not-quite-finished, not-quite satisfactory post. Which is one of the advantages of blogging: you can always change what you wrote.

Children

2007-01-15T21:30:00.000-06:00

"Hi Jane!"

I love hearing children saying this at the dojang. It'll be Matthew or Michele or Jimmy or Georgia standing there, ready to shake my hand, Tae Kwon Do-style. They always have a big smile for me and often have something to tell me, too. ("We're learning long division in school!" or "I slept over at my cousin's last night!")

Sometimes I come to the dojang carrying worries from the day--especially recently. Usually, I'm ready to leave them behind as I bow; other days it's harder.

Saturday was one of those days. Not only did I have class that day, we also had a TKD roller skating party that evening. After talking to the hospice people in the morning ("He's no longer responsive when we talk to him") I wasn't sure I had the physical or emotional energy for either, let alone both.

But I went. Robbie went, too, and when we arrived, those children's voices greeted me again--even before I entered the rink. "Wanna play tag?" asked Matthew as I got out there.

The teens cheered me, too, as they shouted their hellos to me and each other. I got to watch various pairings-off (roller skating is a great excuse for holding hands), which made me smile. Justin and a group of his high school friends goofed off, and when The Macarena began to play, Justin said "Jane, do you remember this?" --we did it together standing over by the coats.

They all reminded me of the joy of now, the comfort of the present moment.

When my mom died, just one week before Christmas, all of us in Cleveland wondered how we'd get through that holiday without her. But it was the children who pulled us through. Bill's girls gave us an excuse to celebrate (their birthdays) in the midst of mom's illness. Ellen's daughter arrived right after Mom died, and my boys did, too. Seeing them after an agonizing week traveling between sick parents in two hospitals brought me back to this world and its joys.

So we did Christmas 2006 for the children. That's what got us through that sad holiday. We took them swimming, tobogganning and skating. We wrapped gifts, and had a luxuriously drawn-out present-opening, on Christmas eve, just like we always did with Grandma and Mom.

If one thing will get me though this difficult season, it will be children, mine and others', keeping my grief balanced with hope.

Two Places at Once

2007-01-13T15:45:00.000-06:00

Hard to concentrate in TKD this morning. My mind was in two places at once.

Before class, I'd called over to hospice to check on my Dad again. I call on days that my brother can't get over.

The nurse said that he's resting pretty calmly now--before he's had some restlessness, and had fallen twice while trying to get out of bed.

"He's sleeping, but you can tell he's working through some things in his unconscious," she told me. "His face gets animated, though his eyes are closed, and he sometimes reaches out with his hand."

She said this was a stage many people went through as they were dying.

Apparently, he's not talking anymore, nor is he very responsive to them when they talk. Just a week or so ago, I talked to him on the phone, very briefly, and he talked about my mom. "I don't know what I'm going to do without her," he told me. Now he's not talking at all.

"In the next stage, he'll be more peaceful," said the nurse

They will call me when he gets close to the end.

It seems ironic that I'm working toward this black belt at the same time that my father is moving inexorably towards death. Two journeys, simultaneous, in different places, towards different goals.

When my mother had her stroke, I had just started taking ballet as an adult. I used to get to the stretch on the barre and sometimes feel stunned that I could put my leg up on a barre, while my mother was in a coma, and later paralyzed on the left side. Every time it stopped me for a moment, and then I'd dedicate the stretch to my mom.

I wish I were at a point where I could just dedicate this black belt journey to my Dad, or both my parents. Right now, I'm just torn between the two places I want to be.

Injuries and Working Out

2007-01-12T11:00:00.000-06:00

An article in yesterday's New York Times (Thursday, January 11) suggested that it's usually OK, in fact good, to work out when you have a minor injury.

"We want to keep you moving," says Dr. William Roberts, a sports medicine specialist at UMinn. "Injured tissue heals better if it's under some sort of stress."

The article, "When It's OK to Run Hurt," was (obviously) focused on running, but it seems that the advice could apply to . . . say, tae kwon do as well.

It caught my attention because, even after a massage Wednesday (focused specifically on my hamstring and right leg), my right leg still wasn't quite right. My massage therapist said she didn't think it was a big injury. "You would have known if you'd torn it. You wouln't have been able to walk," she said. But she did say it felt "tight."

At any rate, I'm not sure how to overcome it.

The article says "most people can continue with the sport they love, although they may need to cut back a bit." OK. I'm doing that: I'm keeping my front kicks about belt-level.

A Dr. James Weinstein of Dartmouth College (he treats their athletes) has this suggestion: Before exercise, take one anti-inflammatory pill, like aspirin or Advil. Ice the area for 20 minutes. Then exercise, possibly reducing the intensity or time. When you finish, ice the injured area again.

OK. I'll try it. I've already been doing the Advil. If I remember, I'll try the ice, too.

Studying

2007-01-10T16:14:00.000-06:00

"Do you want me to make you a copy of this?"

Brian is dangling a packet of notecards in front of my face. We're taking a break from our morning walk-through, and I'm having a little lie down on the stack of mats.

I sit up and look at the notecards. They're study cards with Tae Kwon Do terms for our written black belt test on one side and definitions on the other.

"Nice."

"I can make you a copy of the one with the meanings of the belt levels. Then you won't have to cut and paste it."

Brian made up his notecards sometime before the last test. I haven't done mine yet.

Brian is altogether more consistent and determined than I am when preparing for promotional tests, always finishing up all his board signatures (see the last post) and accurately memorizing the "meaning of the form." He goes in early to class and spends his time working on forms--usually with Kevin. "Repetition is a form of learning," he says.

He also makes a point to set up extra practices in between classes. Kind of towing me along in his wake.

I'm glad we're preparing for the test together!

Black Belt Board

2007-01-09T16:20:00.000-06:00

This is a black belt board. It helps black belt candidates keep track of their practice for the test.

At our dojang, we're supposed to remember our past forms as we progress up through the belts. About a year ago, Ms. Pryor began having us keep track of our practice on boards. We write down our new forms and all the old ones, as well as other techniques: sparring, high kick, basic moves.

Eight times before the test, we're supposed to show black belts that we know how to do each of these techniques or forms. They then sign initials on our board. Eventually, we'll have 8 signatures for each one.

Black belts have to do even more. We do all our forms for 13 black belts over the course of 8 weeks. That's 16 forms x 13 or 208 forms. Justin can tell you how many movements all together--maybe he'll post the number as a comment here :-)

We also have to do all the step-sparring moves 13 times--they're written on the other side of the board. That's 28 step sparring combination x 13 or 364 step sparring combinations.

All of this is done before or after class. As we get closer to finishing, the black belts get pickier about our movements. Ms. Pryor or Master H. will watch us last. And we can count on doing all the forms--in some random order--at the test in February.

This board will help us be able to do that.

Seemed like a good idea at the time

2007-01-09T16:11:00.000-06:00

So Bruce is going to be home early on Monday, and I decide to go over to the dojang early--about an hour before class starts--to work out with Brian. We go through our forms and help the "Ninja Kids" class, then do the All-Belts class.

It's a Ms. Pryor killer-workout class: basic moves, kicks, forms, combination kicking, and then--last--hopping and jumping across the dojang floor . . .

After 2 hours of killer TKD workout, I'm completely wiped. I stagger home, eat, and collapse. Around 9:30, I drag myself into the bathroom for a hot bath, and then ooze into bed.

A two-hour killer workout: not a good idea at this point. I'm not sure if that long of a workout is ever a good idea for me! Certainly not when I'm just getting back to speed.

But I begin to wonder if I need to build up my stamina. Black belt tests can be long at our school.

This morning, Tuesday, Brian and I meet at the dojang. He's somehow talked me into coming over to walk through our forms. "Wasn't I just here?" I ask him.

Walking through forms to strengthen our memories IS a good idea. Having all the forms memorized is a big part of testing at our school. We tell each other we're not going to break a sweat (and basically we don't), but the practice helps us both.

Connect

2007-01-08T13:17:00.000-06:00

After Saturday's class, I decided to get out my Pilates DVD to try to get my core back in shape. I've done it Sunday and just now (Monday).

At one point, the instructor says "Have your hand on your inner thigh muscles. These are the muscles we're trying to connect."

That idea--that Pilates tries to "connect" muscles--helped me understand what is going on with my general weakness now the ballet studio has been closed for winter break.

In ballet, we operate under the assumption that all our muscles are connected to one another through the core. The core is the abdominal area--abs, back muscles, lats. If our core is not strong and connected to our other muscles, then it doesn't matter how strong the rest of our muscles are. We won't be able to do what needs to be done in ballet: balance, turn, move lightly and strongly, lift legs and arms.

"Every movement originates here," one ballet teacher says, pointing to her abdomen.

Although I've been exercising regularly since ballet let out, I have been missing the killer "core" training I get in ballet! So my legs and arms are strong, but they're not CONNECTED through my core. I think that's why I can't break boards. I can only break boards if the power of my kick is CONNECTED to my body weight. And probably also to the strength in the rest of my body.

(I imagine this core strength is especially important with small people.)

In TKD, we say that every movement originates from our abdomen as well--some teachers say "It should come from your belt" I love this metaphorical way of explaining TKD movements: they literally come from your core--abdomen--which should get stronger as you progress through your belts. We also learn to think with our core--to listen to the "gut feelings" we have. I've read somewhere that there is some connection between intuition and your actual gut.

At any rate, I already feel stronger since starting with the Pilates DVD. I think I have a naturally weak core. Maybe because of my hyperextended knees, which lead to naturally bad posture. But I also have a very responsive core: it doesn't take much to make it strong again.

Still I'm looking forward to ballet starting next week. It's way more fun than Pilates.

Today's class

2007-01-06T16:03:00.000-06:00

Frustrating:
I was unable to break with a jump-reverse kick, usually an easy break for me.

The weakness isn't in my leg. My core is weak. I can feel it. I need to get back to ballet.

Satisfying:
I haven't forgot how to spar. I even scored maybe one or two on Justin!

Enlightening:
I did my step sparring and forms for Patrick after class. He really knows all the moves, and gave me some good tips. I'm getting better (or relearning them) but I still don't feel strong. I still have to do them 9 more times for black belts before I take my test.

Pulled muscle

2007-01-04T10:52:00.000-06:00

I think I pulled a hamstring in my right leg. It's been a while--I've been unable to do high front kicks for a month or so.

My solution: take Advil before class . . . but I don't think that's a good solution.

Hiroshi, my Japanese son, who's staying with us for a couple of days, says that massage, stretching, and alternating heat and ice helped when he pulled a hamstring a while back.

We'll see.

Oh, Hiroshi is an adopted son--we "adopted" him when he was a student at the college a few years back. The boys love to hang out with him, and I enjoy his company! I'll post a picture later this week.

The Solace of Physical Activity

2007-01-02T13:59:00.000-06:00

Sunday I went back to church for the first time since I got back. Most of the people there knew about my mom and my dad. After the service, many people talked to me, expressing their condolences, holding my hand, and hugging me.

"How are you? Probably fine until I hugged you," said Sherry, noticing my tears.

That's true. When someone hugs me, the tenderness of the moment causes me to remember my loss and the sadness floods back. I knew that would happen at church. It was wonderful to receive so much comfort and kindness from my church family, but I left feeling wrung out. It was a grey day, too, and I felt bleak the rest of the day. At one point, I tried to distract myself by looking at a box of beautiful Christmas ornaments my sister-in-law gave us for Christmas, but I found myself thinking Mom has ornaments like this, too--I should tell her . . .

What finally snapped me out of it was a walk with my family. It was misting out, but we put on our "London jackets" and took a walk in the neighborhood. The fresh air and exertion helped me to feel better.

I think it's been that way with TKD, too. It was one of the first things I did when we got back, and I'm looking forward to doing it again. I'm not sure if the physical activity is just helping me think of something else besides grief, or if it's helping that sadness to heal.

What's that balloon?

2006-12-30T21:51:00.000-06:00

Everyone wants to know what's up with the balloon in my sparring helmet. Well, if you look closely, you'll see it has a face.

Eli made it and put my helmet on it. "It's you, Mom," he said.

I hope this does not reaffirm my status as an airhead.

(Note the cool photo of Ms. Pryor doing a flying side kick behind my bag)

Dad at hospice

2006-12-29T19:53:00.000-06:00

For those of you who are wondering, my dad was moved out of the hospital yesterday. He's now in a room in the hospice at the retirement community where he and Mom lived for the last 3 years. He's OK, but weak. We're not sure how long he'll be there. I'm not sure if I'll see him again.

I am going to the library tomorrow to find a book about hospice.

Back

2006-12-29T19:44:00.000-06:00

I went back to the dojang yesterday--the first time I'd been there in about 2 1/2 weeks. The familiar dojang-smell greeted me (you know how there's often a special smell you associate with certain places. . . ). I slipped into my uniform, pulled back my hair, and went out into the empty room.

It was good to be back.

Justin joined me and showed me my new form, Chung Mu. As you TKD folks know, it's a fun form, with lots of new and exciting movements, like the 2-step flying side kick, the ridge hand strike, and the 360 jump (very much like a grand tour en rond in ballet--usually just boys get to do it). We worked on it until I remembered the steps. Then Justin--and Master Hughes, who arrived later--watched me do all 13 forms.

Afterwards, my muscles were deliciously tired. And I realized I hadn't thought about my mom, or worried about my dad for a whole hour.

Home

2006-12-28T12:01:00.000-06:00

The night before we came back home, I called Justin to let him know we'd be coming back. He's been taking care of our pets and bringing in the mail. It was strange--yet comforting--to hear his voice on the phone. I've been living this "family emergency" life for two weeks, not thinking much about home. I was reminded that life was going on just as normal while Mom and Dad were ill, and while Mom died.

Now we're back home. I've spent the morning cleaning the house, and I'm going to work out this afternoon with James and Justin. I need to begin learning my new form, to keep going on.

Dad and me

2006-12-23T12:36:00.000-06:00

"So you must be daddy's little girl, then?"

This is what people inevitably say when I tell them I'm the oldest girl and close to my dad.

But they're wrong.

I was NEVER Daddy's little girl. Neither was my sister. The thing about my dad is that he never treats us like we're "little."

Memory: I'm in 11th grade and completely stuck on my math homework. This is the year that math finally catches up to me, and my supposed aptitude in math turns out to be very limited. I'm sitting at the dining room table with my bathrobe over my clothes (Dad always kept the house cold in those days of the "energy crisis"), and my dad comes over. "Hey, hey. That's enough of that." He hands me his handkerchief (I think my dad is the last person on the planet to always have a handkerchief in his pocket.) "Now what are you working on?" I wipe my eyes and tell him, in a shakey voice, about the math problem. He sits down beside me and looks at the problem. "OK now. Let's start with what you know . . . "

Memory: I'm 25, I've just bought my first car, and it's a lemon, a 15-year-old Volkswagen Beetle with a rusted floor and unreliable engine. I've driven it home from grad school somehow, and my dad has looked it over. He lists the problems that need to be corrected. I lie back on the living room floor with my hands over my face. "What do you want to do?" he asks. "Work on it, or junk it?" I can't cry or feel sorry for myself now: I have to make a decision. I breathe and think. Then sit up. "I want to work on it," I say. "OK," says Dad.

There are lots of ways that I would hope to be like my Dad. Dad always thinks of problems as opportunities--not roadblocks. He has boundless energy--physical, mental, emotional. He's optimistic even in the face of terrible odds (like his cancer diagnosis). He wants others to enjoy life the way he does, and his enthusiasm is contagious. He respects and reaches out to people, from the LPN who changes his sheets at the hospital these days to his oldest friends, and they love him for it.

If any of that has rubbed off on me, I've gotten it from him. If I can be a bit like dad, I'll be a better martial artist. I'll be a better person.